Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So much Jack, so little girl.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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