she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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