I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
