Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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