I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize