google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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