Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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