I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
