you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
