bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
