You really coming over, don't trick.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
