she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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