Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
