Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
