C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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