ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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