That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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