I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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