One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
