great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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