Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
