Your tits are I can't wait for
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
