Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
