Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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