Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
