We're facebook friends in real life
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
