some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
