it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
