that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
