look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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