Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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