Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
