so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
