I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
