bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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