Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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