Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
