I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
