What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
