I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
