Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
