I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize