My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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