Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
and she was petting her beer can
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
