He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
