Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
we're so committed to being not committed
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
