I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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