The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.