so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.