I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
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and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
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According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.