i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You took a bar mat shot.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
