do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
