There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
