His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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