So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
