shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize