My pussy is not your playground.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
