Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
