it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
