I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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