he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
