The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
