Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
