I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
