I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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